i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
