Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
