eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
