Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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