NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
