we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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