My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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