I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
