well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize