We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
