You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You are the jesus of drinking
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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