You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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