I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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