so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize