dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize