It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
