I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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