I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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