Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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