oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
