i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
