with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize