i think i have two assholes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I made him laugh his dick is mine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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