Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
