You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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