There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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