we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
