I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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