I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
