you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize