Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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