How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
