I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
