your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
