You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
