we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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