Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
