it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
