I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
