If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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