Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
