know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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