so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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