The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
