the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
