He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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