I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
