I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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