I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
