please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
