i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
