no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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