Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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