just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
