marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
