How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
