"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Randomize
