Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
love makes seman taste better
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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