I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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