YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
