Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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